People desperately need to be loved by someone who is important to them. This is especially true of young people. Just knowing that a person of the opposite sex finds you attractive generate a warm, wonderful feeling. When a guy and a girl are attracted to each other and begin spending time together, the excitement builds. This stirs up passions. Before long they are drawn toward sexual intercourse and they begin to think, “If we really love each other, what’s wrong with having sex?”
There are many reasons why you should not engage in sex before marriage. They add up to one thing: What you gain by sex before marriage is not worth what you lose by it. What do you gain? A brief thrill. Perhaps some momentary pleasure. But what you lose by sex before marriage can affect your entire life. Let see what you will lose by it.
1. Sex before marriage can ruin your chances of knowing REAL LOVE. A girl makes a tragic mistake when she tries to gain love or hold on to it by giving sex. Real love leads to engagement, marriage, and sex, but sex does not lead to REAL LOVE. Instead it often destroys your chances of knowing real love.
2. Sex before marriage will keep you from ever knowing GOD BEST. One of the wrong ideas is that it just a physical thrill to enjoyed with whomever you choose. This makes sex cheap and meaningless. Sex is not just a physical act. In intercourse you and the person become one. It is such an intimate experience that a part of you remains forever with the other person and a part of that person remains with you. When you get married, you will find that you can never give your mate 100% of yourself. Why? Because you have given part of yourself away to others. To Take this lightly is not foolish but a plain ignorance of how God made us.
3. Sex before marriage will hurt your SELFESTEEM. Your purity is your priceless possession.
4. Sex before marriage can leave you with LIFE- LONG GUILT.
5. Sex before marriage can be a BIG DISAPPOINTMENT
6. Sex before marriage is HAZARDOUS
7. Sex before marriage can SHATTER A LIFE
8. Sex before marriage can result in some BID PROBLEM
9. Sex before marriage may fool you into MARRYING A WRONG PERSON
10. Sex before marriage can RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE
Premarital sex greatly reduces your chances of happy marriage. Those who play around sex before marriage tend to do same after marriage.
great thought from m,y little brother
Now that I’ve been through it all, and the whole situation seems unchanged, I sometimes wondered why people behave the way they do, maybe human curiosity; a lesson for the future or experiences that make us stronger day by day.
That was many years ago, 20 years or more, I was only a little boy who would play every afternoon with other kids; the sun was fierce, our parents were busy with their various occupations and one could listen to the birds on the trees singing for joy.
Suddenly, a woman we all knew to have had some mental issues approached me and said, “please… give me some water to drink”. Immediately she had said that, I had a number of thoughts ran through my head. Thoughts like; she is mentally handicapped or that, it’s not proper for her to drink in the same cup as we normally do. And…
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It’s important for every man to seek out mentors to help him navigate the complicated waters of manliness and life. Mentors have the experience and wisdom to give us sound guidance, direction, and advice. Mentors can also help us expand our point of view on a particular area of our life. Moreover, a mentor can become a good friend and confidant during times when we struggle and falter. So having a mentor is quite important. The tricky part is, how do you find one? Here’s a suggested road map.
How to Find a Mentor
1. Determine what sort of mentor you’re looking for.
We all have different facets of our lives. Work, school, spirituality, family, etc. Ask yourself what area of your life needs improvement and could benefit from a mentor. And it doesn’t have to be a specific area of your life like career or church. Perhaps you’re just looking for a mentor to help you be an all around better man. That’s fine.
2. Draw up a list of three men that you’d like to mentor you.
Think of all the men you know that might be able to help you in the area that you’re looking for some mentoring in. Guys that you’ve always looked up to or admired and wish you had a better relationship with. If you’re looking for a mentor to help you in your career, look around at the men you know at work that have been in the game awhile and know the ropes. If you’re a student, you might want to pick a professor that really inspires you academically. If you’re looking for a mentor to help you be an overall better man, simply think of the men you know and admire. While we often think of a mentor as being older than us, a mentor can be a guy the same age as you, who just has his life together a bit more or who lives his life in a way you really admire. Also, don’t stick with men that are exactly like you. One of the benefits of a mentor is that they can help expand your point of view.
3. Write down how each mentor could help you grow as a man.
Think of the traits each man has that you wish to learn. Do some research on them. Do they come from a similar background as you? Do they have unique experiences that can broaden your conception and understanding of success in a particular area of your life? Have they had any setbacks similar to yours? What is it exactly about this person that makes you want him to be your mentor? This will come in handy when you finally get around to asking.
4. Figure out what you expect from the mentor relationship.
Before you ask someone to be your mentor, you need to know what he should expect from the relationship. How often would you like to meet with him? Once a week? Once a month? How do you want the mentoring to take place? A discussion over lunch? Email? A monthly phone call? When you’re deciding this, take into account the men you’re asking to be your mentor and what will work for them. If you know one man is particularly busy, you wouldn’t want to ask that he meet with you once a week.
5. Ask the first man on your list.
After you’ve done all your prep work, it’s time to ask. Whether you call, email, or a write a letter to do the asking will depend on each person. Some older men might be “old school” and prefer a phone call or letter over email. If they’re younger and a bit tech savvy, email is just fine. Tell your prospective mentor that you’re looking for a mentor in “x” area of your life and that you think he’d be a good one. Explain why you think he’d be a good mentor by sharing some of the positive traits about him that you wrote down. People love to be praised! If you get some positive feedback from your prospective mentor about the relationship, go on and start discussing logistics. Explain what you’re hoping to get out of the mentorship and get an idea of what he’d like to get out of it as well. Synchronize schedules and how you two plan to carry out the mentorship. The clearer you are at the beginning, the less likely for awkward moments down the line. If asking someone so directly to be your mentor makes you feel awkward (or you think it might make them feel uncomfortable) then just ask the man to have lunch or hang out some time. Start dropping by the professor’s office or your co-worker’s cubicle for chats. And the relationship will hopefully develop naturally from there.
6. Expect rejection.
Don’t’ get discouraged and don’t take it personally if people say no. People are busy these days, and they just might not have time to be a mentor. If the first man says no, go on to the second.
7. Say “thank you.”
No matter if you get a no or a yes, be sure to thank the person. Now, it might not be possible to find a mentor in just one day, but let’s at least get started on it.
Find a Mentor
• Pick an area in your life where you think a mentor can help you and draw up a list of three potential mentors.
• Describe why you think they’d be good.
• By the end of the 24 hours, contact this mentor. Send an email or letter, call them, or drop by their office. You don’t actually have to visit with them during this day, but make contact with them in some form. What area in your life do you need a mentor for?_________________________________________________
Write down your three possible mentors, and why they’d be a good fit.
There are numerous factors why men are just sort of drifting by today. Changes in the economy and societal shifts are definitely two major factors. But, let’s be honest. There’s not much a man, can do about these things. So, today we’re going to focus on something that we all have the power to control: our core values.
The Importance of Clearly Defining Your Core Values
Defining our values gives us purpose.
When you don’t know or you haven’t clearly defined your values, you end up drifting along in life. Instead of basing your decisions on an internal compass, you make choices based on circumstances and social pressures. You end up trying to fulfill other people’s expectations instead of your own. And before you know it, life has passed you by and you haven’t even started to live. Trying to be someone else and living without core values is exhausting and leaves you feeling empty and shiftless. Conversely, living a life in line with your core values brings purpose, direction, happiness, and wholeness.
Defining our values prevents us from making bad choices.
Perhaps you have a vague idea about what you value. But if you haven’t clearly defined your values, you can end up making choices that conflict with them. And when your actions conflict with your values, the result is unhappiness and frustration.
Defining our values gives us confidence.
I’ve noticed that when I take the time to really think and meditate upon what I value as a man and then write those things down, I’m more likely to have the courage and confidence to make choices based on those values.
There’s something about actually writing down your values that makes you more committed to living them.
Defining our values makes life simpler.
When you’re sure of your core values, making decisions becomes much simpler. When faced with a choice, you simply ask yourself, “Does this action align with my values?” If it does, you do it. If it doesn’t, you don’t. Instead of fretting over what’s the best thing to do, and standing shilly-shally in times of crisis, you simply let your internal compass guide you.
How to Discover Your Values
Before we begin, let’s be clear that we’re not trying to define goals here. Goals are specific actions, like “becoming financially independent by age 30” or “asking my girlfriend to marry me this June.” What we are looking for are values: the ideas that you esteem to be of great worth and that give structure to your life.
1. Get nice and relaxed.
Go to a quiet room and sit in a big comfy chair (maybe even sit in your closet; something about small spaces helps you think), grab the fishing pole and spend an hour or two casting your line into the fishing hole, or take a walk on a nature trail or around your neighborhood. Just do whatever works for you.
2. Have the proper tools.
Have a pen and paper handy so you can write down your values as they come to you. I don’t recommend using a computer to do this as it’s pretty easy to get distracted from the task at hand. Write on something you won’t accidentally throw away and that will last for many years to come.
3. Ask yourself this question: “What’s truly important to me as a man?”
Once you’re nice and relaxed, simply ask yourself what’s truly important to you. Think about those moments in your life when you felt completely whole and fulfilled as a man. Think about the times when you’ve been the happiest. If nothing comes to you at first, don’t worry. Just keep thinking.
4. Write down whatever comes to you.
When you have a moment of insight about what’s important to you, write it down. Don’t self-censor yourself. Be completely honest during this process. No one else is going to see this, so don’t list the values that you think “should” be on your list. If it comes to you, write it. You’ll be able to go back and edit the list in the next step. For now, just do a total brain dump. (Also, don’t worry about prioritizing them yet. We’ll do that later. Our goal right now is to just get down whatever comes to you.)
5. If you have more than five values, eliminate some.
Think hard about what you truly value in life. Put a star by the values you’re sure about. Then take the ones that you feel are important, but aren’t sure if they’re top 5 materials, and put them in pairs. Think about two of those values side by side, and ask yourself which of the two is more important. Then eliminate the other. Keep pitting the survivors against each other until you’re down to 5. If some of the values you listed are just two words describing the same idea, combine them.
Once you whittle your list to five core values, prioritize them in order from most important to least important. Ideally, your core values complement each other, but there might be times when two or more conflict. When that happens, which value will trump? If you know this before that choice presents itself, you’ll know how to proceed. And even if your values conflict in the future, look for creative ways to combine them. For example, family might be your top priority, but so is volunteering. When you have the choice of spending time with your kids or signing up to help at a charity event, do both by bringing the kiddos along with you. If you’re having trouble getting started, I’ve provided a list of values that you might consider. The list isn’t exhaustive; there are literally hundreds of values you could have.
• Adventure • Balance •Confidence • Control • Creativity •Discipline • Education • Faith • Family • Financial Security • Friends • Freedom• Fulfillment • Forgiveness • Fun • God • Growth • Happiness • Health • Hope• Honesty • Humor • Independence • Integrity • Kindness • Knowledge• Marriage • Peace of mind • Power • Progress • Reason • Security• Self-reliance • Service • Spirituality • Strength • Success • Truth • Wisdom
Today’s Task: Define Your Core Values
Your task today is to discover, clearly define, and write down your core values. Write your core values in the space provided below and revisit them now and then to remind yourself what’s truly important to you:
The only reason you don’t have enough money is because you are blocking the money from coming into your life with your negative thoughts. All the money you need exist right now in the invisible realm. If you don’t have enough, it is because you are stopping the flow of money from coming to you, and you are doing that with your thoughts. Think more thought of abundance than of lack, and abundance will come looking for you
Learning how to write a book can seem like a daunting task. But the good news is this-anyone can become a creative writer. As lifelong writer who starting writing books two decades ago, I know too well the difficulties you face when writing a book for the first time…or even the second. I understand that a great book must be original – both in content and voice, and that you must let your passionate muse take you on a journey towards a book that is truly unique. At the same time, writing a book does not have to be like an off-road journey, with no map or signposts to help you reach your destination in a timely manner. You can benefit greatly from the wisdom of other writers, as well as writing tools and techniques that help you write a book more quickly, and improve your writing style. The trick is to know when to apply this knowledge, and when not to let “rules,” “theory,” or the fear of not being good enough drive you into that paralysis we call writer’s block.
There is a balance between structure and passion, between obsessive planning and writing with no forethought at all, between being too proud to learn and undervaluing your own talent. And I can help you find it. I believe everyone has at least one book in them worthy of being manifested.
Through my mentoring, you’ll discover how to write a book using the best writing tips, writing exercises, and writing strategies. You’ll learn to streamline the writing process without resorting to narrow formulas or clichés. I have taken some of the most sophisticated writing theory and insights and translated them into fun and easy writing exercises that can help you plan and write a book you can be proud of – whether you’re writing fiction or nonfiction, writing for children or adults, writing for money or for personal satisfaction.
Once you have a manuscript you feel is ready to show the world, we’ll provide information on how to write a book proposal, how to write a book synopsis, and important advice for approaching agents and publishers. You’ll also learn about self-publishing as an option – and the many pitfalls to avoid when pursuing it. But first, let me share with you one all-important secret …
The only way to write a book is to start writing now. The book of 1,000 pages starts with a single word. It may not be a word that ever gets published, but that first word may lead you to an idea, which becomes a paragraph, which becomes a chapter. (J.R.R. Tolkien began with a single sentence, scribbled on the back of an exam paper he was marking. J.K Rowling began with an idea that came to her on a train, an idea she refused to let go of.) If you truly want to learn how to write a book – the best book you can – begin today with one easy action. There’s no telling where it could lead you.
“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” — Seneca